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Chapter 19
What if my experiences had not left positive results that could be investigated by others?
I have here confided to paper the main features of the psychical and spiritual experiences that at a given time were vouchsafed to me, and that as a whole, represent the manifestation of a divine vocation to the work that henceforth became the occupation of my life.
      Now there might be some who would imagine that my experiences were mere hallucinations or visionary dreams. But let me at once point out that during these experiences of mine I was fully awake and that they were under my conscious control. The transfigurations that I experienced came about whenever I sat down in my meditation chair, without my first having to fall asleep, fall into a trance or in any other way lose my ordinary consciousness. Moreover, it must be borne in mind that, as far as the experiences described are concerned, they were initiated and concluded according to my own wishes and in proportion to what my organism could sustain.
      As for any further account of my revelation, the Holy Spirit, or my initiation I must refer to my work "Livets Bog", which I have begun writing. Here I shall confine myself to mentioning that an event of so sublime a reality is an entirely personal experience, exclusively intended for the being in whom it takes place and can never in the same way be verified by others as for the one overshadowed. So I shall no more dwell on the mere details of the apparition, these being primarily tokens of intrinsic value to myself and, actually, can neither affirm nor invalidate the veracity of my mission.
      The spiritual visions I have had are thus in themselves of no account, unless they have left visible effects, subject to verifiable observations. A good many people may urge that they have had spiritual visions or revelations, but most of these experiences have left no extrinsic or visible sign, no obvious change in the individuals themselves, nor any examples to others. Whether these experiences, therefore, are due to imagination or reality cannot be verified by outsiders and, accordingly, are of no intellectual validity. These visions can be accepted only by such as are satisfied by "belief" and thus lay no claim to intellectual and scientific understanding. Hence, these people require no scientific basis, but are content with "faith" without evidence.
      If the visions in question are unreal, mere illusions, "belief" in them amounts to nothing more than "fanaticism", and the earnest "believer" is only an ardent "fanatic". Consequently, it may entail considerable risk to believe in revelations that are void of all evidence, i.e. uncontrollable by the human intellect, and the verisimilitude of which, therefore, cannot be communicated to others.


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