857. It is also during this stage that, as already mentioned, the individual thinks it can "save" itself by getting married. But of course, this is not possible. The periodic return of the "abnormal" condition cannot be stopped. It is a link in the spiral cycle that is just as unfailing as reincarnation itself. The space between the "abnormal" periods gradually becomes less and less until these "abnormal" periods finally constitute an unbroken or permanent condition. The individual then must live through the whole of the sexually mature part of its life with an increasing or growing sympathetic attitude towards beings of its own sex. This growing sympathy may even be so strong that it outweighs, to far too high a degree, its ordinary sense of balance towards the opposite sex. At this stage it can for a period lose so much of its sympathetic ability that it cannot even show common consideration for that sex. It is this exaggerated sympathy for one's own sex and lack of sympathy for the opposite sex that has given rise to the descriptions "woman-hater" and "man-hater".
      Even though such a being does not actually hate the opposite sex, it is natural that in certain situations in the early stages of their sexual transformation they cannot avoid feeling a certain aversion towards beings of the other sex. It is still these beings that are the rivals in their life. It is these beings that time and time again intervene in its relationship and become engaged to or marry the "beloved" friend. And it is through the resultant unrequited love and jealousy that the being discovers that "it is not like other people". It does not make matters any easier that, as previously mentioned, in order to conceal their "abnormality" and the compromising that goes with it, they cannot give full expression to their feelings. In the first place it has to struggle with an excessively powerful fondness for the friend, suppressing it to the extent that the friend cannot detect the "abnormal" condition, and secondly, if the friend becomes engaged, the being has to put up a great struggle to stifle the pain and jealousy of this so much that here too he does not discover the "abnormal" condition. It is obvious that the individual cannot maintain such a state of pent-up unhappiness. Sooner or later it must give up. Increasingly, it dawns on it that it is "homosexual" or that it belongs to the mental sphere known under the term "homosexuality".